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Poetry
"NoOnE iS gOiNg To RuIn Me...If I hAvE tO i WiLl RuIn MySeLf AnD iT wIlL bE mY rUiN."
the poems on this page do change now and then, when i find another one that i like and think is appropriate. the three following poems are ones that have special meaning to me. poems that i have come accross and made my own in some way. the last one on this page is very thought provoking and helped me realise that i am not alone. it was sent to me by my mummy in USA, when i was at my lowest.
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never enough
trying to live, trying to die,
questioning all, and each reason why
never stop worrying,
never give proper thanks
continure unappreciating,
what's been given, what's been taken
what's been given so lovingly,
unselfishly
what's been greedily devoured
what's been so sweetly coveted,
needed and wanted,
longed for, sought after,
ached for, cried for.
it's never enough,
will it ever be?
wanting more
will be the death of me
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~~~~~~~~~~
wanting mummy
All alone in this huge world.
Crying myself to sleep
Shivering late at night in my bed
Wanting only to be held
Rocked, hugged, loved
Told that everything will be alright,
I just want my mummy.
Yes, Im 16 years old,
And all I want is to be held
All alone tonight.
Wiping the tears away
Knowning that tomorrow will only bring me more pain
Wishing that i could fly away from my hell
Wanting nothing more than to be happy
My heart is aching, and my tears falling hard
I just want to be held
I know Im to old
I know Im to big
I should be more mature than this
But I want my mummy
I want her to kiss me and make it better
I want her to heal my wounds
Stop the pain
Hold me, love me
Please will some one love me??
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Please Hear What I'm Not Saying
Don't be fooled by me.
Don't be fooled by the face I wear.
For I wear a mask,
I wear a thousand masks.
Masks that I'm afraid to take off,
and none of them are me.
Pretending is an art that's second nature with me,
but don't be fooled.
I give you the impression that I'm secure,
that all is sunny and unruffled with me,
within as well as without,
that confidence is my name and coolness my game,
that the water's calm and I'm in command,
and that I need no one.
But don't believe me...Please.
My surface may seem smooth,
but my surface is my mask,
my ever-varying and ever-concealing mask.
Beneath lies no smugness, no complacency.
Beneath dwells the real me in confusion,
in fear, in aloneness.
But I can hide this.
I don't want anybody to know it.
I panic at the thought of
my weakness and fear being exposed.
That's why I frantically create
a mask to hide behind,
a nonchalant, sophisticated facade,
to help me pretend, to shield me
from the glance that knows.
But such a glance is precisely
my salvation. And I know it.
That is,
if it's followed by acceptance.
It's the only thing that can
liberate me, from myself,
from my own self-built prison walls,
from the barriers that
I so painstakingly erect.
It's the only thing that will assure me
of what I can't assure myself,
that I'm really worth something.
But I don't tell you this,
I'm afraid your glance will not
be followed by acceptance and love.
I'm afraid you'll think less of me,
that you'll laugh,
and your laugh would wound me.
I'm afraid that deep-down
I'm not much and you will see this
and reject me.
So I play my game, my pretending game,
with a facade of securance without.
So when I'm going through my routine
do not be fooled by what I'm saying.
Please listen carefully and try
to hear what I'm not saying...
what I'd like to be able to say,
but can't.
Who am I? you may wonder,
I am someone you know very well,
For I am every man you meet
and every woman you meet.
Author Unknown
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